Attitude is defined as a way of thinking or feeling about something or someone, and the attitude we choose affects everyone we meet. It’s something we can’t see or touch, yet it impacts our entire life, for either good or bad. A positive approach can help us succeed, and a negative approach can hold us back. Whether we’re single or married, this is a fundamental truth straight from the Bible.

We’ve all seen how people with bad attitudes treat others, and we’ve most likely cringed and wondered how they ended up thinking that way. When we’re dating, the thought processes governing our attitudes are extremely important to God, but He gives us the freedom of choice to decide for ourselves how we want to think. Being humble, not pompous or proud, pleases God. “Surely He scorns the scornful, but gives grace to the humble” (Proverbs 3:34, NKJV). “A man’s pride will bring him low, but the humble in spirit will retain honor” (Proverbs 29:23, NKJV).

Our thoughts and behaviors are the root of many of the problems we create for ourselves, and pride is often behind any selfish, self-centered ways of thinking. A humble attitude sets us up for blessings, but a prideful attitude works against us. We maintain a godly attitude by putting others’ needs before our own. Jesus, the greatest of servants, repeatedly emphasized this during His earthly ministry (Matthew 20:16, 26-28; Luke 14:8-11).

We can improve a selfish attitude by taking ourselves out of the middle of the situation and putting in Jesus. Developing the type of selfless attitude that He teaches is impossible on our own, but asking Him to change what He doesn’t like gets results. “But Jesus looked at them and said to them, ‘With men this is impossible, but with God all things are possible’” (Matthew 19:26, NKJV). Being self-centered is the result of a “me first” way of thinking, but putting God first changes everything.

Don’t make the mistake of thinking that being humble is the same as being a doormat or letting others walk all over us. Truly humble individuals have confidence, a positive self-image, and high self-esteem. They like and respect themselves, because they realize that God made them, and He doesn’t make mistakes. We’re created in God’s own image and likeness (Genesis 1:27) and we become His children when we accept His Word (Matthew 5:9).

Unlike the phoniness we see so often in the world around us, the Word of God is the ultimate truth. Real humility is the act of agreeing with what God says about us, and agreeing with Him is good for the spirit and the soul. When we realize how much He loves us, it’s easier to love ourselves, mistakes and all. Even when we “mess up” and say or do something we know we shouldn’t, we can forgive ourselves, because God has already forgiven us (1 John 1:9).

We know we’re learning true humility when we care less about what others say or think about us, and more about what God says and thinks. Fretting over others’ opinion is always a trap. “The fear of man brings a snare, but whoever trusts in the Lord shall be safe” (Proverbs 29:25, NKJV). Unlike people, God’s thoughts toward us are always good. “For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope” (Jeremiah 29:11, NKJV). Our attitude can’t help but improve when we reflect on what God declares.