Love is a foundational teaching in the Bible, yet most people don’t know how to love the way God intends for us to. The world goes by its own standards on this; the problem is that, because it doesn’t know God, it has no concept of being intentional and selfless when loving others. The message gets garbled and twisted, and fails to acknowledge the good things that God put in all of us that make us worthy of being loved. To be able to love anyone, we must love and respect ourselves, first.

After Jesus’ first commandment to love God, the second commandment is to direct that love outward. “And the second is like, namely this, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. There is none other commandment greater than these” (Mark 12:31). We can’t give away what we don’t have. The implied message is that we must have love for ourselves before we can share it with others. When we value ourselves, it shows in everything we say and do.

Any sense of self-worth we have is based on the knowledge of how much God loves us. He offers us unconditional acceptance, and forgiveness of every mistake we’ve ever made. “And we have known and believed the love that God hath to us. God is love; and he that dwelleth in love dwelleth in God, and God in him…We love him, because he first loved us” (1 John 4:16, 19). God knows everything about us, yet He’s still willing to overlook our shortcomings when we trust in Him.

Having healthy self-respect enables us to conduct ourselves as ladies and gentlemen in all situations, while refusing to let others take advantage of us. Valuing ourselves in today’s world is difficult, but we can succeed with God’s help. “…For he that toucheth you toucheth the apple of his eye” (Zechariah 2:8). To be the apple of someone’s eye is to be exceedingly cherished and highly favored above all else; this is the way God feels about us.

We can be disappointed and hurt when someone we love rejects us when they see our flaws and faults. Dwelling on the emotional pain this causes can make it difficult to maintain a positive self-image, and could even cause us to dislike ourselves. When others let us down, God never will. “The LORD hath appeared of old unto me, saying, Yea, I have loved thee with an everlasting love: therefore with lovingkindness have I drawn thee” (Jeremiah 31:3). Even if we feel like giving up on ourselves, God loves us too much to give up on us.

God formed us in love, and He knows us better than we even know ourselves. When we fall short of our expectations, He still loves us. He knew and loved us even before we were born. “You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed. How precious are your thoughts about me, O God. They cannot be numbered!” (Psalm 139:16, 17, NLT). God wants nothing short of the best for us.

If we want to learn to love ourselves, we can’t do it on our own or rely on the world to teach us. Accepting God’s love and letting it take root in us reveals wonderful things He placed inside us. Letting Him teach us the true meaning of love fills any emptiness inside we may have.