2019 Grace Family Conference (Session 2) NY

by Taffi Dollar | 13 Apr 2019


Living under grace deeply affects us on many different levels, including in our family lives. Trying to live by the Law of Moses leads to perfectionism, which results in efforts to hide our flaws and imperfections. Relationships based on performance allow fear to enter in, because under this standard, we are judged based on our self-efforts. When Jesus came, He ended the need to live this way and demonstrated that we can be perfect when we are in Him. Under the law, there are walls between spouses that prevent them from approaching one another non-judgmentally; under grace, those barriers disappear. The freedom that grace brings also improves the lines of communication between parents and children. Accepting this freedom for ourselves allows the Holy Spirit to work through us so that others feel comfortable approaching us in the knowledge that they will be accepted, free of judgment or condemnation.

  1. Jesus’ influence on our family relationships frees us from condemnation.
    1. For through him we both have access by one Spirit unto the Father. Now therefore ye are no more strangers and foreigners, but fellowcitizens with the saints, and of the household of God (Ephesians 2:18, 19).
      1. When we accept Jesus, we are able to stand in God’s presence without condemnation. The beauty of relationships is the freedom of having a non-condemning approach with others.
    2. For it is through Him that we both [whether far off or near] now have an introduction (access) by one [Holy] Spirit to the Father [so that we are able to approach Him]. Therefore you are no longer outsiders (exiles, migrants, and aliens, excluded from the rights of citizens), but you now share citizenship with the saints (God’s own people, consecrated and set apart for Himself); and you belong to God’s [own] household (Ephesians 2:18, 19, AMPC).
      1. Under the law, condemnation and hostility were present in relationships between Jews and Gentiles. Jesus tore down that middle wall of partition (Ephesians 2:14).
    3. We can now approach God directly, without having to go through a priest or any other human being. Equal and direct access to Him is now available.
      1. In whom we have boldness and access with confidence by the faith of him (Ephesians 3:12).
      2. In Whom, because of our faith in Him, we dare to have the boldness (courage and confidence) of free access (an unreserved approach to God with freedom and without fear) (Ephesians 3:12, AMPC).
    4. And now, because we are united to Christ, we both have equal and direct access in the realm of the Holy Spirit to come before the Father! (Ephesians 2:18, TPT).
      1. As parents, we want our children to know that they can approach us and talk to us about anything, with no fear. Our heavenly Father feels the same way about us.
  1. Letting grace lead us makes us approachable and encourages others to open up to us.
    1. Our approach is critical in determining whether God’s plan for our lives is successful or whether it crashes.
      1. Jesus tailored His approach to others to meet them where they were. When He met the woman at the well and had a conversation with her (John 4:5-29), she came away freed and empowered.
      2. We need to let the Holy Spirit lead us in our relationships and communications with others. He needs to be able to direct us in what to say, when to say it, and how to say it.
      3. During His ministry, Jesus wanted to be approachable.
      4. But Jesus said, “Let the children come to me. Don’t stop them! For the Kingdom of Heaven belongs to those who are like these children” (Matthew 19:14, NLT).
      5. We can rely on the Holy Spirit to lead us in what to do, and how to do it, in all our encounters with others. It was unorthodox for the woman to come to Jesus and pour oil on Him (Luke 7:37, 38), but He allowed it because this empowered her to fulfill God’s will for her life.
    2. Jesus redeemed us from the curse; this redemption even extends to our families.
      1. Christ hath redeemed us from the curse of the law, being made a curse for us: for it is written, Cursed is every one that hangeth on a tree (Galatians 3:13).
      2. Christ purchased our freedom [redeeming us] from the curse (doom) of the Law [and its condemnation] by [Himself] becoming a curse for us, for it is written [in the Scriptures], Cursed is everyone who hangs on a tree (is crucified) (Galatians 3:13, AMPC).
    3. Cursed shall be the fruit of thy body, and the fruit of thy land, the increase of thy kine, and the flocks of thy sheep…The LORD shall smite thee with a consumption, and with a fever, and with an inflammation, and with an extreme burning, and with the sword, and with blasting, and with mildew; and they shall pursue thee until thou perish…Thou shalt beget sons and daughters, but thou shalt not enjoy them; for they shall go into captivity…Because thou servedst not the LORD thy God with joyfulness, and with gladness of heart, for the abundance of all things…And thou shalt eat the fruit of thine own body, the flesh of thy sons and of thy daughters, which the LORD thy God hath given thee, in the siege, and in the straitness, wherewith thine enemies shall distress thee (Deuteronomy 28:18, 22, 41, 47, 53).
      1. Under the law, even children were cursed. However, God wants the best for us, which includes the ability to enjoy our children with no conflicts or strife.
      2. Children are a blessing.
      3. As arrows are in the hand of a mighty man; so are children of the youth (Psalm 127:4).
      4. Sickness—including illnesses passed down from generation to generation—was part of the curse. Jesus ended this, too.

For more on how grace can improve our family relationships, click on the link below for my three-CD series, Grace-Based Relationships.


Scripture References

Ephesians 2:14, 18, 19

Matthew 19:14, NLT

Ephesians 2:18, 19, AMPC

Luke 7:37, 38

Ephesians 3:12

Galatians 3:13

Ephesians 3:12, AMPC

Ephesians 2:18, TPT

John 4:5-29

Galatians 3:13, AMPC

Deuteronomy 28:18, 22, 41, 47, 53

Psalm 127:4