Remember the saying “sticks and stones can break my bones, but words can never hurt me” that you used to hear as a child? This is ironic: words can hurt, as anyone on the receiving end of gossip or lies can testify. Some people get very involved in repeating what should be kept in confidence about a neighbor or friend. This is not how we should treat one another.

God takes a dim view of using words in a hurtful, evil manner. The gift of speech that He gave us shouldn’t be weaponized. “The words of a talebearer are as wounds, and they go down into the innermost parts of the belly” (Proverbs 18:8). People carrying around past hurts they never dealt with or resolved are more likely to hurt others. “The words of a gossip merely reveal the wounds of his own soul, and his slander penetrates into the innermost being” (Proverbs 18:8, TPT). 

Our external environment is steeped in negativity, and what God abhors the world embraces. This includes ungodly speech. What’s repugnant to the believer is greedily gobbled up by the world and repeated. Gossip is the main fuel for the rumor mill. “Rumors are dainty morsels that sink deep into one’s heart” (Proverbs 18:8, NLT). Our words carry the power to either strengthen our relationships or to destroy them. “He who covers a transgression seeks love, But he who repeats a matter separates friends” (Proverbs 17:9, NKJV).

Giving in to the temptation of sinning with our tongue can be deliciously fun for the moment, but the results are long-lasting. Gossip and slander are actually ways we exalt ourselves over another person. Some people do it to be popular and fit in with the crowd, but this hurts not only others but our own reputation. A dose of wisdom in controlling our tongues goes a long way. “But no one can tame the tongue. It is restless and evil, full of deadly poison. Sometimes it praises our Lord and Father, and sometimes it curses those who have been made in the image of God. And so blessing and cursing come pouring out of the same mouth. Surely, my brothers and sisters, this is not right!” (James 3:8-10, NLT).

What we think about long enough eventually comes out in what we say. Gossiping and spreading rumors don’t just happen in a vacuum; whatever thoughts we entertain and dwell on will become strong before moving down into our hearts and affecting our words. We therefore need to think about what we think about, and examine what’s going on in our hearts.  

God spoke through David—who was known for his wisdom—when he wrote about gossip and slander. “Keep thy tongue from evil, and thy lips from speaking guile” (Psalms 34:13). It’s important to guard our mouths and pause for a moment when we’re tempted to say something we know we shouldn’t. Holding our tongue for a few seconds gives our minds time to process what we’re contemplating blurting out; we may decide not to say it.

As believers, we’ve been set apart. Others are listening to what we say. Our speech demonstrates either our ignorance or our wisdom. “The more talk, the less truth; the wise measure their words… the blabber of the wicked is worthless. The talk of a good person is rich fare for many, but chatterboxes die of an empty heart” (Proverbs 10:19, 20, 21, MSG).  Blabbermouths get themselves in trouble; letting God guide our speech keeps us safe from this snare.