As Christians, we live in a strange, backward environment. The world goes to extremes to twist and distort our perception of what we think God is like; as a result, many people are afraid of Him. One notion is that He’s an angry, vengeful God, ready to punish and strike us down when we sin or make mistakes. Nothing could be further from the truth.
Basing our perception of God on Old-Testament law causes us to attribute to Him the bad, painful things that happen. We erroneously assume that this is how He relates to us when we do something wrong. However, we must also factor in the devil, the world’s influences, and our own self-centeredness. God may allow bad things to happen to grow and strengthen us spiritually, but His will for us is always good. “And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose” (Romans 8:28).
How we see God affects how we live our lives in general; it specifically translates into the decisions we make in our relationships. God gave us the freedom to make our own choices, and He’ll always respect that freedom even when we don’t choose wisely. We can’t blame God when we don’t like the consequences; Satan is the one who uses the circumstances to cause us pain and suffering. Thankfully, God is always ready to console and comfort us when we’re hurting. “All praises belong to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. For he is the Father of tender mercy and the God of endless comfort. He always comes alongside us to comfort us in every suffering so that we can come alongside those who are in any painful trial. We can bring them this same comfort that God has poured out upon us” (2 Corinthians 1:3, 4, TPT).
What was true under the law may no longer be true under grace. Law-based relationships between men and women are unequal and patriarchal; marriages with this mindset are restrictive and stifling. By comparison, grace-based relationships have been restored back to God’s original plan. “So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them” (Genesis 1:27).
God loves us no matter how often we mess up our relationships. He sees our mistakes as opportunities for learning, not for punishment. His correction is loving, not harsh. Wherever His Word gently points out where we fell short, it also offers a way to keep from repeating the same mistake. “All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness” (2 Timothy 3:16).
God doesn’t want us to suffer, but He uses suffering to develop our character and teach us to trust Him. We’ll always have times when we’re stubborn and stiff-necked. When He’s correcting us, it hurts for the moment, but it’s how He matures us. “No discipline is enjoyable while it is happening—it’s painful! But afterward there will be a peaceful harvest of right living for those who are trained in this way” (Hebrews 12:11, NLT). He never causes the suffering, but works through it to make us stronger and wiser from the experience.
Avoiding the mistake of living under the law like the world does saves us plenty of heartache and emotional pain. God is no longer a punisher and a judge, but a loving Father. Believing this lets Him bless our relationships.
