Announcing that we’re “in a relationship” is exciting for the moment, but lasting success in this area requires God’s involvement in every one of them. Believers need a deep understanding of relationships—not just the romantic kind, but the kind that shape our lives, our faith, and our future. Godly friendships are built on grace, not law; if we don’t first learn how to be good friends now, we’ll struggle in marriage, in ministry, and in life later. The foundation of every strong relationship starts with our relationship with God.
God Anchors Every Relationship
We can’t expect to build lasting relationships with others without God in the center. He’s the foundation; we can’t skip this step and expect the house to stand. “For other foundation can no man lay than that is laid, which is Jesus Christ” (1 Corinthians 3:11). Relationships built on God’s Word are better able to withstand the storms of life. “A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for a time of adversity” (Proverbs 17:17, NIV). Real friends don’t bail when things get tough because they were born for those moments.
Love doesn’t only show up in marriage, it’s the foundation for friendships, too. What God wants for us isn’t just any love, but agape love. It’s the kind of love that doesn’t need a reason. It’s unconditional, selfless, and supernatural, and says, “I’m here for you, even when you’re not at your best.”
Prioritizing Love and Selflessness
Let’s be real: friendships are hard to form, harder to maintain, and easy to destroy. However, they become powerful when we build them on grace. “…Having the same love, being one in spirit and of one mind. Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others. In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus” (Philippians 2:2-5, NIV). This is the picture of unity, humility, and valuing others above ourselves. It’s the kind of love that holds relationships together.
To grow up spiritually, we need the kind of help we can only get from the Holy Spirit. Paul reproved the church at Corinth on this. “…I had to talk as though you belonged to this world or as though you were infants in Christ. I had to feed you with milk, not with solid food, because you weren’t ready for anything stronger. And you still aren’t ready, for you are still controlled by your sinful nature…” (1 Corinthians 3:1-3, NLT). The problem with many relationships is that we’re still acting like spiritual babies. We’re jealous, petty, and divided. Godly friendships have the maturity required to move past this stage.
Godly Friendships in Action
True friends don’t expect anything from us. They’re not in it for what they can get. Their motivation is to give the advantage, not to take it. What makes godly friendships so powerful is that they reflect the heart of Jesus. In these end times, this is rare to see today.
Real friends are compassionate and kind; in a world full of mean people, kindness stands out. Have you ever gone to the grocery store and gotten snapped at for asking a simple question? Kindness matters because it’s refreshing and healing.
Genuine friends forgive. They don’t hold grudges or keep score. They extend grace because they’ve received grace. That’s what Jesus did for us, and that’s what we’re called to do for others.
Friends Walk Through Life with Us
True friends rejoice with us. They’re not jealous of our promotion but instead celebrate it. They’re not bitter about our breakthrough but praise God with us If we have to question whether our friend is happy for us, that friendship might need some work.
Godly friends listen. They don’t just wait for their turn to talk, but care enough to lean in. They hear our heart, not just our words. That kind of listening builds trust and connection.
True friends help carry our burdens. They pray with us, provide encouragement, and stand by us. They intercede not just when we ask, but when the Holy Spirit nudges them. When they sense something’s off, they stand in the gap with intercessory prayer and go to God on our behalf.
Godly Friends Show Us Grace
The friends that God sends our way point us back to Jesus. When we’re drifting, they don’t just watch but lovingly redirect us. They don’t let us fall away without a fight but remind us of who we are and whose we are.
Love should be the motivation behind everything we say. “But speaking the truth in love, may grow up into him in all things, which is the head, even Christ” (Ephesians 4:15). This indicates that part of our spiritual growth is tied to our relationships. If we’re isolated, we’re vulnerable to deception. We need people who will tell us the truth even when it’s uncomfortable.
God created relationships for our benefit, to keep us accountable. They encourage us and help us through life’s challenges. They keep us on the right path when we’re starting to stray in the wrong direction and we’re about to make a dumb decision.
We’re Better Together
The phrase “No man is an island” infers that we’re all interconnected; we therefore must stop trying to do life alone. Isolation breeds deception, and we can think we’re fine until someone shows us that we’re not. Friends help us grow, challenge us, and love us through the mess. “Friends love through all kinds of weather, and families stick together in all kinds of trouble” (Proverbs 17:17, MSG). The kind of friendship we need is weatherproof and doesn’t run when trouble hits.
To be honest, some of us have messed up good relationships because we didn’t know any better. We cringe at the dumb things we did; happily, it’s not too late. God is a God of restoration who can heal broken friendships and show us how to form new ones. Letting Him teach us how to build relationships that bring peace and joy lets the supernatural show up in our lives, our churches, and our homes.
