In our current environment, living the single life isn’t easy. Let’s be real—being unmarried in today’s world can feel like walking through a battlefield of emotions. We’ve all been hurt before, especially in relationships, and if we’re not careful, that hurt can shape how we see ourselves and others. However, God never intended for us to live trapped in pain; He gave us the tools to walk in freedom, and it starts with knowing who we are in Christ.
We’ve got to stop letting our past define us. After a breakup, the enemy loves to keep us focused on what went wrong, who left us, and how bad it hurt. Thankfully, when we got born again, we became new creations. “Therefore if any person is [ingrafted] in Christ… the old [previous moral and spiritual condition] has passed away. Behold, the fresh and new has come!” (2 Corinthians 5:17, AMPC). That means our past doesn’t get to call the shots anymore.
Now, we’re not saying the pain wasn’t real. Words can cut deep, and some of us are still carrying wounds from things people said or did. We must choose healing over hurt. This means surrounding ourselves with people who speak life, not death, into our situations. “Some people make cutting remarks, but the words of the wise bring healing” (Proverbs 12:18, NLT).
Here’s the truth: hurt people make hurt decisions. Operating from a place of pain causes us to start protecting our feelings instead of our future. That’s not God’s way; He gave us power over hurt and a promise we can stand on. “Behold, I give unto you power… and nothing shall by any means hurt you” (Luke 10:19). We don’t have to live guarded, bitter, or afraid, but bold and free.
So how do we do it? First, we’ve got to pick up our shield. “Above all, taking the shield of faith, wherewith ye shall be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked” (Ephesians 6:16). That shield is what God says about us. When we listen to what others say instead, we’re putting it down, but faith says, “I’m healed, I’m whole, and I’m moving forward.”
Forgiveness is next. When we’re honest with ourselves, we’re forced to admit that this isn’t always easy, but it is necessary. Forgiveness is a decision, not a feeling. We set our will to forgive, and then stop rehearsing the hurt; life’s too short to keep replaying the pain. “…But this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before” (Philippians 3:13).
It’s also necessary to stop trying to get even. Revenge might feel good for a moment, but it keeps us stuck. “Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves… Be not overcome of evil, but overcome evil with good” (Romans 12:19, 21). When we bless instead of curse, we’re walking in the Spirit. That’s where the power is.
Finally, we must lean into God’s presence. When the pain feels overwhelming, we don’t have to carry it alone; we take it to Him. “God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble” (Psalm 46:1). That’s not just a verse, but a lifeline. He’s right here with us, ready to heal every broken place.
Avoid getting stuck in the past by deciding to go forward. Don’t let hurt hold you hostage, but instead walk in love, forgiveness, and faith. Be the singles who shine with God’s glory, not the ones stuck in yesterday’s pain. You’ve got the power; use it.
