In today’s environment, being single and navigating relationships can be like walking through an emotional minefield. The world suggests that if we’re not paired up, something’s wrong. This pushes us toward the conclusion that marriage is the only way to be whole and happy. The truth is that most of life’s problems—including relationship drama—are solved through a personal relationship with God.
Not enough can be said about pursuing a relationship with God before anyone else. Everyone is broken somewhere and we all need healing first before dating or marrying anyone. God can heal the broken places like no one else. “…With men it is impossible, but not with God: for with God all things are possible” (Mark 10:27). The things we’ve been stressing over, whether it’s finding the right person, healing from heartbreak, or moving on from a toxic relationship, become possible when we start with Him.
If we don’t know how to be alone with God, first, we’ll struggle to be whole with anybody else. We’ve got to pause and ask, “Who am I with?” Spending time with Him grows and strengthens our faith in His love for us; our belief flows out of this relationship as a byproduct. “If thou canst believe, all things are possible to him that believeth” (Mark 9:23). Instead of rushing into a relationship, it’s wise to wait on God; this produces strength, not desperation, and keeps us from settling for less than His best.
Waiting teaches us patience and allows God to work in the situation. He has prepared things for those who wait. “For since the beginning of the world men have not heard, nor perceived by the ear, neither hath the eye seen, O God, beside thee, what he hath prepared for him that waiteth for him” (Isaiah 64:4). While we’re stressing over timelines, God is busy setting up blessings we can’t even imagine; we simply need to trust Him enough to pause.
Trusting God means we can stop panicking and thinking marriage will fix loneliness. Alone time with God fixes loneliness because His presence fills every gap. When we learn to rest in Him, we discover peace that outlasts emotions and wisdom that outsmarts pressure.
We can also pray about the situation. For most people, prayer never crosses their mind. “But when you pray, go away by yourself, shut the door behind you, and pray to your Father in private. Then your Father, who sees everything, will reward you” (Matthew 6:6, NLT). When we master the art of being alone with God, He’ll master the art of rewarding us openly. Scheduling time for Him, praying, worshipping, and listening for His response is where wisdom for relationships flows and where healing from past hurt happens.
Being in God’s presence teaches us our worth, so that we stop negotiating it with others. His love is the real thing, and it’s unconditional. Knowing our worth enables us to stop entertaining counterfeits and start expecting covenant.
Prioritizing God gives us grace to wait, mercy to forgive, strength to walk away from toxicity, and boldness to trust His timing. When the right person shows up, we’ll recognize them because we’ve been guided by God, not pressured by culture. It’s time to realize that we’re not incomplete, but in preparation; we’re not desperate, but devoted.
A shift in thinking is necessary here. Being single is simply a season in our lives. The same God who satisfies His intense love by loving us will satisfy every need in our lives. When we seek Him first, everything else, including relationships, will be added.
